We Only Fall in Love with 3 People in Our Lifetime

Monday, December 5th, 2016

It’s Been Said That We Really Only Fall In Love With Three People In Our Lifetime.
Yet, it’s also believed that we need each of these loves for a different reason.
Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. It’s the idealistic love—the one that seems like the fairytales we read as children.
This is the love that appeals to what we should be doing for society’s sake—and probably our families. We enter into it with the belief that this will be our only love and it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel quite right, or if we find ourselves having to swallow down our personal truths to make it work because deep down we believe that this is what love is supposed to be.
Because in this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel.
It’s a love that looks right.
The second is supposed to be our hard love—the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation.
We think we are making different choices than our first, but in reality we are still making choices out of the need to learn lessons—but we hang on. Our second love can become a cycle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before.
Sometimes it’s unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even. There may be emotional, mental or even physical abuse or manipulation—most likely there will be high levels of drama. This is exactly what keeps us addicted to this storyline, because it’s the emotional rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, we stick through the lows with the expectation of the high.
With this kind of love, trying to make it work becomes more important than whether it actually should.
It’s the love that we wished was right.

And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love that comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. It’s the kind where the connection can’t be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it.
This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits—there aren’t any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are.
We are just simply accepted for who we are already—and it shakes to our core.
It isn’t what we envisioned our love would look like, nor does it abide by the rules that we had hoped to play it safe by. But still it shatters our preconceived notions and shows us that love doesn’t have to be how we thought in order to be true.
This is the love that keeps knocking on our door regardless of how long it takes us to answer.
It’s the love that just feels right.
Maybe we don’t all experience these loves in this lifetime, but perhaps that’s just because we aren’t ready to. Maybe the reality is we need to truly learn what love isn’t before we can grasp what it is.
Possibly we need a whole lifetime to learn each lesson, or maybe, if we’re lucky, it only takes a few years.
Perhaps it’s not about if we are ever ready for love, but if love is ready for us.
And then there may be those people who fall in love once and find it passionately lasts until their last breath. Those faded and worn pictures of our grandparents who seemed just as in love as they walked hand-in-hand at age 80 as they did in their wedding picture—the kind that leaves us wondering if we really know how to love at all.
Someone once told me they are the lucky ones, and perhaps they are.
But I kinda think that those who make it to their third love are really the lucky ones.
They are the ones who are tired of having to try and whose broken hearts lay beating in front of them wondering if there is just something inherently wrong with how they love.
But there’s not; it’s just a matter of if their partner loves in the same way they do or not.
Just because it has never worked out before doesn’t mean that it won’t work out now.
What it really comes down to is if we are limited by how we love, or instead love without limits. We can all choose to stay with our first love, the one that looks good and will make everyone else happy. We can choose to stay with our second under the belief that if we don’t have to fight for it, then it’s not worth having—or we can make the choice to believe in the third love.
The one that feels like home without any rationale; the love that isn’t like a storm—but rather the quiet peace of the night after.
And maybe there’s something special about our first love, and something heartbreakingly unique about our second…but there’s also just something pretty amazing about our third.
The one we never see coming.

The one that actually lasts.

The one that shows us why it never worked out before.
And it’s that possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile, because the truth is you never know when you’ll stumble into love.
“You found parts of me I didn’t know existed and in you I found a love I no longer believed was real.” ~ Unknown

Re-post two years 2,5 years ago

Wednesday, September 28th, 2016

  

Wednesday, September 28th, 2016

” The moment when you’re in Love with your best friend. Lucky but afraid. Nothing’s wrong, huh? “

Sunday, September 25th, 2016

What people think of me, is none of my business.” 

  

Hi.!

Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

  

Missing these guy so much :”))

Pak Chandra, a great partner for “tempat berkeluh kesah alias curhat dari A-Z, Z-A”

Mrs. Aleta, a well motivator (tukang nasehatin) as she is 😊

And Nick, you such a narcissist foreign people i ever know 😛. 

It’s a great opportunity as well as the knowledge and being partner with you guys.
see you when i see you🙂
P.S: and Nick said, “Hi guys, shall we take a wefie first before friday party?”

You are the best i ever had

Tuesday, August 9th, 2016

That’s why I loved being with you. We could do the simplest things, like toss starfish into the ocean and share a burger and talk and even then I knew that I was fortunate. Because you were the first guy who wasn’t constantly trying to impress me. You accepted who you were, but more than that, you accepted me for me. And nothing else mattered 

Selamat 1 Tahun 11 bulan, Love ❤️

   

Yesterday Was So Much Fun!

Sunday, July 17th, 2016

Try to spend our day, to jump in a big trampolin ❤️

Thank you Amped Trampoline Park 😊

   
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
   

First Trial Samyang Hot Chicken Ramen

Sunday, July 17th, 2016

I’ve recently stumbled upon a Ramen challange video posted by vlogger and it got me curious. how spicy could this ramen be right?

I always try to looking for samyang hot chicken ramen, in supermarket near my home (Mu Gung Hwa), this ramen always sold. So was also at the supermarket near my office (Dialy Hall) and (Grand Lucky) this ramen always sold out.

I’m going to curious, until i ask my bf, “could you please buy me first this ramen, when you are going to travelling in somewhere?”

Then,,when he goes to jogja, a week ago (at lebaran), he find it samyang! then i ask him to buy it first. And he bought me 2 Samyang Hot Chicken Ramen! Wow,  too much happy i’m to hear that 😆.

Now today, i cooked that Samyang Hot Chicken Ramen,

And,,,here i go!

  
This Samyang is ready to eat 😆😆.

Anyway, upon taking my first bite, I thought, “Oh it’s not that bad.” However, by the time I finished it, my upper lip was burning, OMG! All I could think of was “I’d get sexy big lips like Angelina Jolie”, but I think I would need to consume more if I wanted that to actually happen. It definitely burned for awhile but fret not, it’ll wear off sooner than you think. I would eat it again, next time it’ll be a bigger portion, and maybe make myself cry. 

The spiciness in my mouth is just so THRILLING – I’m just not too thrilled about my stomach though, ’cause after eating the Samyang Hot Chicken Ramen’
Yeah in the end, this Samyang it’s delicious, and maybe i’ll ate this again :p

What makes you think, that i’m better?

Friday, July 1st, 2016

M: “what makes you think, that i’m better hon?”

F: “Intinya sih gini yang klo aku, Cari pacar itu gampang yang, cari calon utk diajak ke masa depan itu yg susah bgt buat aku.Nyatanya aku, aku harus 12x dlu ketemu orang yg berbeda jatuh bangun, sampai akhirnya aku mutusin utk berhenti di kamu. Semoga kita selamanya ya yang 😊”

How Can Love Change Easily…

Sunday, June 19th, 2016

How can Love change easily?
Dari kemarin dengerin curhatan temen, yg dimana dia udah menjalani hubungan lama sm seseorang, almost 8-9 years, terus kemudian putus gitu aja, hanya karena (gak ada) kepastian di hub mereka. 

Atau mereka yg udah menjalani hub dari jaman “susah” bareng hingga “hampir” sukses, terus kemudian putus gitu aja, hanya karena dia ketemu diluar sana, salah satu dari mereka ketemu dengan orang yg lebih menarik, yg sebenarnya hubungan mereka hampir sama sekali tidak ada masalah, tapi lagi-lagi hanya karena “kepastian”.

Atau mereka yg udah menikah sangat lama, terus mereka cerai begitu saja, hanya karena perbedaan, padahal kalau di fikir perbedaan yg menyatukan mereka. 

is quite easy to fall in love, and it may be just as easy to fall out of love—perhaps when another, more attractive person comes along. 

Even if people care deeply for their partner, this doesn’t mean that they will always be in touch with positive feelings; they will often have aversive feelings, such as doubt, irritation, hurt, and anger. When aversive feelings predominate, it can feel like “falling out of love.” One might take this as an indication that he or she should no longer be with a particular partner, even though loving feelings can be rekindled.

This is not to say that people should stay in unhappy relationships, but rather that, perhaps, there should be a focus on something other than positive feelings in romantic relationships.

While many would agree that it can feel very good to be in love, it is also good to recognize that the endless search for pleasure and “feeling good” can lead, ultimately and ironically, to unhappiness, particularly when it comes to intimate relationships. People often speak of “needs” when they refer to loving relationships—whether with partners or friends—and there may also be a paradox in that seeking to have a need met as a primary motivator for action may actually result in less happiness overall. There is even research to suggest that pursuing happiness as a goal actually results in increased feelings of loneliness.

While there is no clear definition of what it means to be “in love,” it appears to mean, at some level, enjoying the feeling generated by being with another person. To some extent, one loves how one feels in regard to another, but the feeling is self-centered. In this instance, when love is primarily experienced as a feeling state unconnected with actions taken according to personal or shared values, relationships may be more tenuous.

Because feelings change over time, it may be relatively easy to “fall out of love,” as it can be to “fall in love.” On the other hand, if couples act in a loving way, based on what they value about the relationship or according to values they share with their partner, they may find it easier to negotiate difficult times and disappointments.

Ya mungkin banyak beberapa orang yg pernah merasakan itu, ataupun di posisi itu. including my self.

Love can change easily, tanpa melihat pengorbanan-pengorbanan yg sudah pernah kalian sama-sama lakukan.