How Can Love Change Easily…

Sunday, June 19th, 2016

How can Love change easily?
Dari kemarin dengerin curhatan temen, yg dimana dia udah menjalani hubungan lama sm seseorang, almost 8-9 years, terus kemudian putus gitu aja, hanya karena (gak ada) kepastian di hub mereka. 

Atau mereka yg udah menjalani hub dari jaman “susah” bareng hingga “hampir” sukses, terus kemudian putus gitu aja, hanya karena dia ketemu diluar sana, salah satu dari mereka ketemu dengan orang yg lebih menarik, yg sebenarnya hubungan mereka hampir sama sekali tidak ada masalah, tapi lagi-lagi hanya karena “kepastian”.

Atau mereka yg udah menikah sangat lama, terus mereka cerai begitu saja, hanya karena perbedaan, padahal kalau di fikir perbedaan yg menyatukan mereka. 

is quite easy to fall in love, and it may be just as easy to fall out of love—perhaps when another, more attractive person comes along. 

Even if people care deeply for their partner, this doesn’t mean that they will always be in touch with positive feelings; they will often have aversive feelings, such as doubt, irritation, hurt, and anger. When aversive feelings predominate, it can feel like “falling out of love.” One might take this as an indication that he or she should no longer be with a particular partner, even though loving feelings can be rekindled.

This is not to say that people should stay in unhappy relationships, but rather that, perhaps, there should be a focus on something other than positive feelings in romantic relationships.

While many would agree that it can feel very good to be in love, it is also good to recognize that the endless search for pleasure and “feeling good” can lead, ultimately and ironically, to unhappiness, particularly when it comes to intimate relationships. People often speak of “needs” when they refer to loving relationships—whether with partners or friends—and there may also be a paradox in that seeking to have a need met as a primary motivator for action may actually result in less happiness overall. There is even research to suggest that pursuing happiness as a goal actually results in increased feelings of loneliness.

While there is no clear definition of what it means to be “in love,” it appears to mean, at some level, enjoying the feeling generated by being with another person. To some extent, one loves how one feels in regard to another, but the feeling is self-centered. In this instance, when love is primarily experienced as a feeling state unconnected with actions taken according to personal or shared values, relationships may be more tenuous.

Because feelings change over time, it may be relatively easy to “fall out of love,” as it can be to “fall in love.” On the other hand, if couples act in a loving way, based on what they value about the relationship or according to values they share with their partner, they may find it easier to negotiate difficult times and disappointments.

Ya mungkin banyak beberapa orang yg pernah merasakan itu, ataupun di posisi itu. including my self.

Love can change easily, tanpa melihat pengorbanan-pengorbanan yg sudah pernah kalian sama-sama lakukan. 

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